How To Elope
ELOPING.
I’m writing this in the middle of a pandemic. Where I have 3 months of weddings that have been postponed or cancelled and 3 months of brides who are wondering what to do. I have a lot of them opt for some sort of elopement- and I get it. But you had all of these wedding plans- literally just when you thought you had everything wedding figured out, you are thrown this wicked curveball. So for my babes and dudes who are now opting for eloping and trying to figure out what that’s going to look like for you, let me help.
There’s a lot of reasons people choose to elope. Some of you feel like this is the best option for the current situation. Some choose it for its flexibility and ease. Some choose this for budget reasons. Some choose it for time sensitive reasons. Some choose it because it is less stressful. Some choose it because it fits their love of outdoor adventures. Regardless of your why, keep in mind what is truly happening on this day and how you have the choice to make it whatever you want.
Eloping in its traditional form is a marriage conducted without the knowledge of the couple's family and friends, particularly their parents. Typically, those who elope only have a ceremony and do not host a reception or celebration. I do think the definition has shifted a bit in today’s world of elopements and while there are still parts of it that remain, I think there is a lot of flexibility in that day and how you want to design it. The biggest change I’ve seen recently is still wanting a few family members present- and I totally get that. ESPECIALLY if you were a bride who was planning a wedding, and are now eloping due to COVID19. I do allow a small group at my elopements, before no longer classifying them as elopements. I’ve had photographer friends show up to “elopements” and have 50 people present, and while this could still be intimate, this would not really be classified as an elopement.
VISION
I encourage you to first start with creating a vision for your day. I want you to imagine your dream day- you and your partner together. How do you guys spend it? Where are you? Literally picture it from the moment you wake up- what’s for breakfast? The most special thing about elopements is that you have the ability to build a day that authentic and meaningful to you and your relationship. Starting with a vision will set up the entire intention for your day and how you want it look and feel. Then we can start building that vision out with details and planning.
LOCATION + DATE
Deciding where and when is the first thing you’ll likely try to figure out for your elopement. First you can decide if you want to keep it local or a destination elopement. The nice thing about elopements, is that coordinating traveling is a lot easier with less people. You could opt for a location that is meaningful to your relationship, or a place you’ve always wanted to see together. Maybe a favorite place you’ve been, a hike you both love, or the lake you had your first kiss. It could be somewhere easy to get to, or maybe something that requires more of an adventure. Maybe you want a place that’s familiar to you. Or maybe you’re more excited about the idea of experiencing something new together.
When picking that location, you also should think about accessibility and who is going to be with you. If you’re grandparents are coming, it’s safe to say an eight mile hike to the top of a peak isn’t the best choice. However, a ceremony at the base with them, and a hike for just the two of you and me for sunset photos may be the best route. If you are envisioning an altar, you’ll want to pick a location that we can get that altar too. If it’s just us, and you’ve dreamt of a longer adventure elopement, let’s pack up and go.
You’ll also want to think about the weather and conditions there. For example, there are a lot of alpine roads that are not accessible until mid summer due to snow. Some locations are scorching hot mid summer and you may want to instead opt for a spring or fall date. If you hate being cold, a winter elopement in Washington may not be the best pick for you.
With weather, comes the topic of crowds and audiences. A lot of easy to access trails and viewpoints would be an absolute terrible choice on a sunny weekend due to the amount of people who flock to these locations. You will find yourself battling for a parking spot, bumping into people on your hike, having to wait around for an opening to get a photo without people nearby. There are just some locations that are almost always busy. So thinking about how much quiet and privacy you want, could influence your location, date or time. A lot of the time, opting for a weekday can be a huge benefit with avoiding crowds. Also we generally shoot at sunrise or sunset, so that also can help avoid the mid-day hikers and travelers.
LOGISTICS
This leads into what do you want to do on your elopement day! (To me, this is the fun part) I will always encourage you to build an entire day that is meaningful and so much fun for the two of you. This will also be dependent on your location a bit/ but maybe you do a hike, or go swimming, or spend it in an a-frame cabin with your dog, or just relax in a hammock with a nearby picnic. Options are endless! Refer to this post about elopement timelines for even more ideas and information on building our your DREAM DAY!
Keep in mind, while the day itself could feel a bit like a vacation- it should still have a lot of intention behind it. We still want to have a sweet ceremony for you- but that can look however you want it to. Exchanging vows is always an incredibly sweet choice for elopement- there are few things more powerful and meaningful that sharing your emotions and feelings with each other. But really it is completely up to the two of you on what you want your ceremony to look like- are you religious? do you want to exchange rings? are there any other ways of formalizing this that you want to incorporate into your ceremony? You can get creative with this and, again, I encourage you to do whatever best represents the two of you!
BUILD YOUR TEAM
So you have a location picked and a date set- now what? Build your team! ‘Whoa whoa- we are eloping. We don’t need vendors, this isn’t a big wedding’ I hear you- but there are still a few people you’re going to want to look into bringing on board to make this day seriously awesome.
SOMEONE TO MARRY YOU: Either an officiant or an ordained friend- you need someone there to make this thing official. There are plenty of officiants available for hire, some even specialize in elopements and adventure elopements. It can also be incredibly special to have a close friend or family member do this for you, and getting ordained online is super easy. For my out of state and out of country brides, getting married in-state ahead of time can make things a lot easier for you so you don’t have to worry about filing anything afterward.
SOMEONE TO HELP YOU LOOK AMAZING: Hair and Make Up! I know you want to keep this simple and easy and may be considering just doing your own hair and make up. But unless that is your cup of tea, hiring someone to do your hair and make up will be one less thing you have to worry about that day. I ALWAYS recommend at least make up, because most make up artists will know what looks best on camera.
SOMEONE TO CAPTURE VOWS: I am going to capture some amazing still photos for you- and I will do my best to capture every last detail so no moment goes unremembered. But, especially with elopements, it can be incredibly sweet to have those vows and activities recorded with sound and movement.
SOMEONE TO HELP MAKE IT BEAUTIFUL: I always a recommend a florist for an elopement. I would say, at least look into getting some sort of bouquet. They can also add flowers to some of your details like a hat, or maybe a flower crown. If you have an arbor, they can really help bring it to life- explain your vision to them and let them get creative!
I have a handful of close vendor friends who would LOVE to help bring your elopement vision to life! Talk with me and we can see who you still need on your team!
A few other details to consider
DRESS: YES you can still go dress shopping and find an amazing dress to wear for this! It’s also okay to opt for something maybe a little less traditional if that’s more your style- add a cool hat, or a two piece dress, or go with a non-white dress!? You’ll want something you feel AMAZING in. And depending on location and weather, you’ll want something that works with that. For elopement with a hike, we can wear clothes for the hike and change at the top!
FOOD + DRINK: While with an elopement you aren’t feeding a large crowd and don’t have to make decisions like buffet style or plated. But some food may be a fun way to add some personality into your day. Maybe you’re taco connoisseurs and want to incorporate that into your day. Or you love pizza and want to share a pizza on top of a mountain. Maybe you just want donuts, or you choose to celebrate with pancakes or a cute cake- whatever speaks to the two of you!
FINAL POINTS
LEGAL: similar to a wedding, you’ll want to look into the legalities for this. It will vary by city and state and country so check into that at least a few months ahead of time so there aren’t any surprises the day of and we have all the Required paperwork and documents needed
For those eloping in a different state or country, it can be easier to do the official legal stuff in your home state beforehand.
PERMITS AND PASSES: If you are eloping in a national or state park, there is likely going to be some permits and passes you need to do so. It will vary by location, so look into their websites to see what you need. I recommend contacting their permit office or a park ranger to see what exactly you need. The last thing you want on this day is for a park ranger to have to ask us to leave. Keep in mind, there are some parks that require at LEAST 4 weeks notice and some that have a maximum occupancy for certain days- again I can definitely help with this ahead of time so we are all set come your elopement day.
Ultimately, I encourage you to design a day that is entirely and uniquely special to the two of you. Infuse as much of the two of you into that day! Know that this day is incredibly special, and you deserve to make it the most amazing day!
